While I Read (#1)

blue universe
Photo by Felix Mittermeier on Pexels.com

Reading: Brief Answers to the Big Questions by Stephen HawkingIs there a God?

This is probably my biggest question.

I do not identify as an atheist. Nor do I see myself as a religious person.

I sit right smack in the middle, where I’m constantly learning about things and events that have led me to moments that make me go, ‘Ah, its just humans,’ or ‘Oh maybe there is a higher power out there.’

The universe to me is a pretty mysterious thing. Scientifically and spiritually.

In a spiritual sense, the universe gives out signs. Maybe our fates and destinies are already written, or perhaps we have the power to change that? To heed the signs or ignore them.

Thinking about it scientifically however, makes my brain space expand (and hurt) along with the ever-growing universe. I’m currently just past the part where Prof. Hawking gave the analogy of digging a hole to form a hill aka the universe. How everything is in equilibrium (the amount of dirt dug up = the amount of dirt that makes the hill) and how the Big Bang is an event of said equilibrium.

That means that the dirt used to make the hill (positive energy) is the mass that we see and the hole (negative energy) is space. Like literal space. These two energies cross out each other, so it equates to zero.

So what is the catalyst that led to the actual Big Bang since it came from zero/nothing? (Correct me if I’m wrong, I did not study physics outside of load, fulcrum and effort)

Then I saw two words that still make me shiver: quantum physics.


The last time I tried to understand this was in Polytechnic when dear Ms Yulia explained that electrons could move anywhere. Out of the atom’s rings. Or jump atoms. Or worse, jump back and forth between atoms. We were taught about orbitals and Sp and the likes at 8.30 am and my brain couldn’t handle.

‘So imagine the orbital is like a cloud where the electrons can move freely.’

I felt like my entire secondary school chemistry syllabus was a lie. WE DREW RINGS AND DOTS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY AREN’T ACTUAL RINGS.

Atom ‘shells’ with dots and crosses for electrons

We later found out that the topic was a snippet of quantum physics and my god I hate it. The laws of physics really do not apply there.

Maybe that’s where God is. At the quantum level.

Until someone figures out the cause of the Big Bang.

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